DEVIL'S BEATITUDES
 
Whew...talk about the hot seat!!!! This one will make you stop and
shudder! If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they
would probably go something like this:

 
1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend
an hour once a week with their fellow Believers -- they are my best workers.
 
2. Blessed are those Believers who wait to be asked and expect to be
thanked -- I can use them.

 
3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they are my
missionaries.

 
4. Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.
 
5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.

 
6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and
mistakes -- for they get nothing out of his sermons.

 
7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own
church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

 
8. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and
divisions that please me.

 
9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get
angry and quit.

 
10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's
work -- for they are my helpers.

 
11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and
sister -- for he shall be with me forever.

 
12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people
and not yourself -- I've got you, too!